My Backdoor

I hate standardized test day

Donna has her 5th grade math standardized test today and tomorrow. She is so nervous and upset.

Not because math is a problem for her but because she feels pressured to do well. And not by us. She is under the impression that it will be important for middle school next year that she does well or she could have to be in extra help classes and she could even have to repeat 5th grade if she doesn’t score high enough. I am not sure WTF the teachers are saying but this is crazy, for an 11 year old to be this stressed and worried.

And I hate the way they teach for the tests and not just teach what the kids need to learn for their grade. The kids end up with a much narrower education, it was not this bad when I was a kid.

Good Morning Sunshine

Best. Commerical.

There is a place one town over called Conquest Video.

It is an adult store.

They have THE BEST commercial.

It says “Come in our discreet rear entrance”

awesome!!

It puts the lotion in the basket

•I’m going to be in NYC from Thur afternoon to mid-day Monday. I’m so glad to be going home and with Jill to celebrate her birthday and my grades. It’s a trip that almost fell apart. But I’m so lucky to have this chance. If you’re there I want to see you. I’m looking at you Michele….and Dee..and…
•I need this break. Time to decompress and think. I miss the kids and Jay already but this is so important.
•Bravery is not present in the absence of fear but thrives in spite of it I’m very scared.
•I’m sick of rain. My bones feel damp.
•love is hard

I’m amazed

I’ve spent so much of my life feeling like I wasn’t worth much. So when I’m told that I am wanted, that my being around is something someone wants, when someone goes above and beyond…it amazes me.

Good Morning Sunshine

Insecurity

Insecurity slips on like a well worn coat and melts into the skin becoming impossible to shed.

Avengers Movie

We just got back from seeing it. The Doctor has been waiting months for this so off we went. Donna went because even a “boy movie” is better than no movie. But she ended up loving it.

We all did. The humor and snark were great. It was a really fun movie. Stan Lee cameo FTW!!!

Joss is a genius.

The Doctor’s only complaint was he doesn’t understand why Thor is the god of thunder when he uses lightning and shouldn’t he be the god of lightning instead…but he was so thrilled to see his favorite superheroes in one movie.

Bittersweet

Mother’s day is bittersweet. I am one do my kids fuss over me.

But my own mother isn’t in the picture, not because she died or lives far away but instead it’s because she doesn’t and never has loved me.

Bittersweet.